February is a tough month for us. For those of you who don't know, we have several "D-days" and anniversaries during this month that we wish upon no person. The first is a recent one. Two years ago, Dan's mom passed away suddenly and unexpectedly. It came as a shock, and many times, it doesn't even seem like it could have really happened. I suppose we are still in shock from it. It's one of those things where you want to pick up the phone and call Mom to tell her that the kids just did the cutest thing, and her number is still in my phone. Only, she isn't there to answer the phone any more. It's very surreal. And even sadder, is that as the kids are starting to forget their Grandma Downs as they get older.
The next d-day is my first son, Michael. He was stillborn at full term, and it was the hardest thing I have ever had to endure. No parent is supposed to outlive her children. It puts a hole inside of you that can never be filled, no matter how hard you try. It gets easier to deal with as time goes by, but it never goes away. It was 8 years ago, and I have since been blessed with two more beautiful children, so all of that helps. I feel my Drew and my Kenzie were picked by Michael and sent to us. They are really such a blessing.
But every February, we are reminded of what we are missing. One way to help us deal with it is to celebrate their lives. We do a balloon release to heaven to tell them we love them. We've always done it, and this year was no exception. This year, I brought my camera along.
It was SOOOO windy on Michael's birthday, that we decided not to do it in our yard. Some years we have gone down to the river, some times down at the beach, and on crazy weekends, like this one, we only have time to travel to our own back yard. Only, we have lots of trees, and we didn't want to watch them get hung up, so we decided to head up the road to an open pasture. Only there were some new and large power lines put up across the way, and sure enough, it was the first place the wind blew the balloons! Luckily, they made it up and over, and we watched until we couldn't see anything but happy blue skies.